To sleep, perchance to dream

The medication war continues. I am still off my anti-depressant and I am feeling good. A friend of mine who has been on this particular med before asked if I was experiencing headaches, nausea, etc. No, I'm not. He said that usually folks have a hard time getting off this stuff without help and doctor's guidance.

I'm no hero. More than likely I am absolutely stupid for stopping my course of medication in this way. However, it is working. At two weeks and two days, I don't expect to feel any side effects or withdrawal beyond this point. Now I just have to deal with my emotions. So far, so good. I have felt a little less patient with my daughter when she interrupts me or won't do as I ask, but nothing to the point that I'm concerned about. She also knows she can come to me and tell me if she sees that I'm having trouble. She is a blessing to me. (As is my son, who as a fifteen year old pretty much stays out of everyone's way anyway.)

This morning a couple of very nice things happened. First, I slept until the sun was bright in the sky and I got to sleep without my sleep meds for a change. I try every so often to do without; usually without success. I wind up taking it at 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning and then I'm whacked when I need to get up and for a couple of hours beyond. Last night just felt like a good night to try. It was. It gives me hope that I can get off this medication, too, before long. The second thing nice thing was that I felt motivated to sweep and mop the kitchen and dining area. Alanna preferred to do this job since I was notoriously unmotivated to ever do it. This type of motivation is one of the things I have lacked for the last several months. It feels good to care about how the house looks and feels again, even if I still wouldn't get to Alanna's level of cleanliness. :-)

So now my task is to work off of my sleep aid. My blood pressure medication is a given. I unwisely tried to do without that about ten years ago and learned my lesson. But this is a real goal. To sleep when I want. To dream without aid. Aaahh.