Christians and garages

Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that caught my attention. "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than being in a garage makes you a car." OK. I'll buy that. The sticker was on a vehicle that I might assume belongs to someone who has a problem with Christians, based on the other stickers around it. That's OK, too. I'm a Christian and I have a problem with Christians (including myself) from time to time. At its core, I cannot disagree with the message of the sticker. Anyone could walk into a church building or a worship service and not have to be a Christian. One does not belong simply because of that. I've known people who have attended worship services much of their lives and never felt close to God or the community in which they were participating. I'll also (tongue in cheek) make the case that one does not have to be a car to be in a garage. If that were the case, here in New Mexico many of us would have small, squarish cars stuffed with junk stacked to our ceilings in our garages. Sometimes people confuse the structure called "the church" with what really is the Church. A Church is not a building, it is a group of believers that are committed to meeting to worship God and support one another. The true framework of Church is commitment and action, not bricks and mortar. The true foundation of Church is Jesus, who we call Christ, not a slab of concrete. If one is not committed to the community and willing to act on it, then, perhaps, in their heart of hearts the person is not really a Christian yet, but that is between them and God, and it is not for any human to judge. So, what makes a person a Christian? C.S. Lewis in his book "The Screwtape Letters" (ch.23) says that the ancient Christians "were converted by a single historical fact (the Resurrection) and a single theological doctrine (the Redemption) operating on a sense of sin they already had." The founder of Methodism, John Wesley, believed it was about a commitment to "flee the wrath to come." I would simply say in more modern language that what makes a person a Christian is having faith that God loves us so much that he sent Jesus to save us from ourselves and restore our eternal relationship with God, his (and our) Father. Why do we need to be saved from ourselves, you may wonder? I would hope that most of us could admit that we (far too regularly) do things that are counterproductive to building relationships and are, frankly, worthy of regret. That word "sin" really is a churchy word for anything that we do that breaks or degrades our relationships with God and others. When you consider it that way, we are full of it, aren't we? What's the big deal about church, then? If "going to church" doesn't make you a Christian, then why bother? Well, I believe that it is a response to ones commitment to be in relationship. In some ways it's similar to the reason a person in recovery goes to their meetings. We realize that we have been given a gift (redemption from sin for the Christian, or being sober for the person in recovery). We are celebrating the change in our lives with people who understand why we celebrate. We are practicing our gift with people who can help us to do it even better because they, too, are practicing. If it is a requirement to "go to church," then it is a practical one that recognizes that sin loves a relational vacuum and that we all need help to walk the straight path. Without being part of a community of believers, we will delude ourselves into believing that we don't need others, and that we know best for ourselves. The Christian knows this is a delusion. In the end, we occasionally put our cars in the garage to keep them safe, to keep them protected from the elements, or to get them fixed. Christians are a part of a church so they can worship God together and help each other to be all that God made them to be. Neither cars, nor Christians are much good to anyone if all they do is stay holed up in their safe place. So get what you need in your church, folks, and get back out into the world and love your neighbors. There are plenty of people who have no good idea what it is we are up to.

"The Ides of March"

I watched the movie "The Ides of March" last night. It made me sad to think that the political process could be half as cutthroat as that portrayal. In my mind, it is the story of how a true-believing soul in the political realm stumbles very easily into corrupt behavior and finds himself merely one among many who have done so.

By watching such a movie on Good Friday I could not avoid thinking about how that connects to the faults of every human being and the need to make the relationship with God. O how far we fall when we rely solely on ourselves for guidance! O how we delude ourselves into thinking that God is with us even though we have never asked for the Spirit's leading!

It was a cautionary tale that extends far beyond the political realm with its point. We must all be wary of the corruption that would eat away at our lives as we seek to master our own petty goals.

Christan leadership is by example

I just read an email from the local leader of my church's denomination. It said that, "The role of the pastor in vital congregations is different. These pastors are empowering and equipping lay persons for leadership and ministry. They are not spending 80% of their time taking care of the church’s members. They spend more time preparing their sermons and constantly ask themselves how the guest will be impacted by the message. “Will the message invite persons to follow as one of Jesus’ disciples? Will it encourage them to live in God’s Kingdom? Will it attract them to lead a different life than they lived the previous week?”" I'm not convinced that this will make a congregation any more vital in today's world.

If the goal is to connect with those searching for God who are not already connected to a body of believers, then I believe sermon preparation should not be the bulk of any pastor's effort. Spending the bulk of time in caring for the needs of the congregants isn't the way, either, in my book. There is another way that is far more Jesus-like.

When I look at Jesus' example I see a leader who spent a lot of his time teaching his followers how to do the work of spreading God's love with people who didn't yet get it. The Bible does not say that he spent 80% of his time hand-holding with his followers; neither does it say that he spent 50% of his time preparing his next message. He lived his life out in the community. He spent much of it mixing with the crowds and taking his followers along with him. They saw him at his Father's work and they learned from him.

Jesus is recorded as having sent the disciples (read: students) out in pairs to practice the work of ministry in the world. He did not suggest (according to scripture) that they spend the majority of their time thinking about what they would say the next time they spoke. (Peter and Paul, in Acts, are said to have relied totally on the Spirit to provide the words a couple of times.) They were commanded to preach the Gospel and heal illnesses and cast out demons. (Luke 9) No mention is made of sermon prep or study. I believe life was the study. The words they needed flowed from their experiences.

What experiences do many pastors have nowadays? Sadly, too many are limited to official church meetings with lay people and staff, sermon prep and study, and (far too often) a limited family/social life. Fortunately there are some pastors who fight the modern paradigm and spend a significant time out in the community, but that should be the norm, not the exception for pastors.

I am of the school of "lead by example". The example that is too often set for believers is that of spending a great deal of time thinking and praying and studying with a very limited interaction with the greater community. How do we know how to love our neighbor when no one is showing us how? I long for the pastor who empowers people by living in community with them and mentoring some who can then mentor others in the faith; this opposed to the pastor who leads primarily from the pulpit and in isolation from the greater community.

I would plead with all the pastors I know to consider cutting back on investment in the sermon and increasing their investment in discipling (read: living alongside) some key people who could then begin discipling others, and so on. That's where the Good News is truly shared and understood: face-to-face and in community.

The sermon is a valuable tool for believers, but not as valuable as being discipled by a faithful, growing, practicing Christian. And the sermon rarely reaches those who are outside the church's walls, which is a rapidly growing group. Are we really expecting guests in our worship services to be a primary avenue of evangelism? We are blessed by each and every person, guest or believer, who walks into our building, but how many more people do we abandon to the world because we focus on the few who are willing to brave entering our strange new world. Go out into the world, believers! Show others how to do it! Be uncomfortable yourselves, rather than waiting for the searcher to show the courage. Light does not wait for the darkness to come to it. Light spreads itself out. If we are to be a Light in the world, we must go out and we need pastors to lead in action, more than by word.

Another New Normal

It has been a couple of years since the phrase "the new normal" crept into my vocabulary. That was a very different set of circumstances, even though it was not that long ago. There have been many iterations of "the new normal" in the last two years; perhaps a lifetime's worth by some people's reckoning.

Now there's a new normal forming again. In some ways it has many characteristics of some of the older normals. In many ways it is brand new and exciting. The little irritations that come from getting used to new people on a daily basis also offer huge possibilities in growth for us all. I, personally, have noticed a great deal of growth in how I am handling all my personal relationships.

As the new normal develops, schedule changes come up. Some things tighten up, others loosen. Still, the needs are met and we all adapt as best as we can. As an example, I'm attending Sunday School as a student for the first time since 2001, but it's at my new wife's church. I grow, but things change, too. Change and growth go hand-in-hand. Lots of things are changing. I pray that I am growing as much as possible, too.

Lost and Found

Yesterday as I was driving around town I spotted an iPod laying in the street. My daughter immediately wanted to claim it as her own, but I said that we needed to try to find the owner first. It's an iPod, after all. Once registered the owner can be found and notified by Apple, right?

This morning I called Apple to track down the owner. Sure enough...uh...well...the owner had never registered it. Bummer. And unfortunately there are no identifiers on the case or in the unit. The calendar was not used. No notes stored. Looks like someone we know will be getting a gently used gift from Santa this Christmas. (My daughter already has her own.)

"Whip It" was worth the time

I am always on the lookout for a film that is upbeat, spends more time on character development than special effects, and has a good soundtrack. "Whip It", released October 2, is one of those in my book.
It portrays the budding dreams of a Texas teenager who is struggling to emerge from the hopes of her well meaning mother. It reminded me a great deal of "Juno", which I also liked a great deal. There is no pregnancy, but it does deal with the main character losing her virginity to a seemingly caring older boyfriend. Life does not go as planned, and she must struggle to move beyond herself to see how her actions impact all those who care about her.
I took my daughter, but I would not recommend it for the folks under 13. Dare to watch it with your teen daughter and let it lead you into talking about this stuff. For the most part, it's pretty real in a Hollywood kind of way.

Debt collection as an art, not a science

Oh, the trials and tribulations of clearing debts. Today, perhaps, I have cleared the final debt owed to a health care provider for Alanna. Lovelace hospital has been sending me statements for about a year for a 25 month old ER visit Alanna had in September 2007. Each statement has read "Total Amount Due From You $0.00" So a month ago I began receiving collections notices on a $125 debt owed to Lovelace for this visit. "No way," I said! The statements have never showed an amount owed bigger than ZERO. They wouldn't send me to collections before giving me a chance to pay them directly. WRONG! Today I called the collection agency for the second time responding to a very tersely worded second notice on the supposed debt. They were polite but insistent that the hospital showed monies owed.

I called the hospital this afternoon. They said that they had finally settled up with the insurance company in August and that apparently we had never paid our co-pay. Hmmm. It's possible, but highly unlikely, I thought. Rats. A check of the bank statements confirms that no copay was charged for the hospital stay. Because the account is so old (mighty old in my book), the system sends it straight to collections, rather than issuing a statement for me to pay. Although I think that sucks for a reason to send it to collections, at least I get it. I offered to pay the hospital directly because I have such an aversion for collections agencies. The person explained that everything will be resolved faster if I pay the agency rather than the hospital, but that the hospital would take the payment if I wanted to roll the dice. No thanks.

A quick call back to the agency puts me in touch with a guy who seemed to want me to fight this because Alanna is deceased. I actually had to insist to the collection agent that I wanted to pay this thing off immediately. Sheesh!! And now it's done.

Will this end the streak? Can we finally, more than 18 months after her death, put the memories of those hospital visits to rest? I ain't holding my breath. If it takes them two years to figure out billing for an ER visit, then the statute of limitations on the last hospital stay must be at least that long.

And the government can really screw this up worse than the private sector?? I'm here to say that I don't believe that for a minute.

Friends interviewing for the same job

I found out last night that I am interviewing for a ministry job that a friend of mine is also interviewing for. Neither of us knew that the other had applied. Fortunately we both understand that God will put us where we need to be. Whoever gets the job will be the right person for it and that's what matters! Ministry jobs should not be about competition, but instead should be about building the kingdom of God. This job selection process will be just that for us. Praise God!

It's only been 8 weeks??

Life has become a new thing for me in the last eight weeks. Has it really been only eight weeks? It's hard for me to believe that it hasn't been eight months. I mean that in the best way, too. Having an (extremely) significant other again has made my personal clock run faster. Life had slowed down since Alanna died - dreadfully slow by my accounting. Janice has re-wound my clock and it is working fine again. Praise God!

We are expanding into each other's lives in powerful ways. I have met some of Janice's family. She'll meet my mom when Grammy comes to visit this Friday. I've helped her son with homework. She's shopped with my daughter. We have gone to each other's houses for meals, with and without kids. We have been to both our churches to worship together. The closer we grow, the better it feels. I could come to believe in reincarnation; in meeting Janice, I feel like I've known her for years and years. I've never developed this kind of depth in a relationship (friendship or anything more) so quickly before. It could make a person's head spin, except we have each other to hold on to and to steady us.

Two is better than one for me. I have learned that I am made to be half of a larger whole with another. I had wondered if being single would be my future. Message received: Nope.

On St. Alanna's Day

It's been a year since we re-named March 17th for St. Alanna. Step aside Patrick, there's a new kid in town. In the last year so many things have happened; good and bad; ups and downs; joys and heartaches; friendships renewed and faltered. And yet in our humanness God is present, working in it all to sow love and reap the kingdom of God.

Alanna came to understand the kingdom of God. She finished her life on earth prepared for the one to come. This was not simply a profession of faith in Christ. It was a life lived in the transformational power of God's boundless love. St. Paul talked about the image of God as an image dimly seen in the mirrors of our souls. I believe that Alanna's mirror became brighter and more powerful toward the end; sharing that Love that fueled her fire - especially in her last week with us.

My prayer is that we will continue to be challenged by her example; continue to be fueled by God's love for us in order that the world may see and know that the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is alive and well and living in the hearts of those who accept the gift of love freely offered to us all.

Ode to the first of many times together

The moon was smiling on us tonight.
Did you notice on the way home?
I was too busy looking into your eyes,
absorbing your scent,
reading you like a bestselling novel,
telling you everything I could think of,
to see who was watching us.
Once was not enough, my dear.
I don't think twice will come close, either.
Four seasons may be merely a beginning.
God was laughing for joy with us.
Did you hear him on the next bench?
Don't think this wasn't his idea.
The moon was smiling on us tonight.

How fast doth feelings bloom?

Those of you who know me are probably aware of my ability to jump head first into things that matter to me. It may not even surprise you to hear that I believe in love at first sight, although I don't think it happens often.

So how fast can feelings develop between two people who meet via the internet? I have been hopeful and skeptical all at the same time as I have spent a whopping two weeks on eHarmony.com. I met a very nice, very assertive (in the best sense) new friend on Sunday. We are emailing madly. I feel like a teenager again. All this in four and a half days. Unbelievable? No. I considered surprising her at the airport at 5am tomorrow to meet her for the first time. Stupid? Perhaps. Her mother and sister will be there, too, so I think I'll reign in the wild team of horses pulling at me tonight. If she were to call and invite me to see her off...I'd happily make do with a few less hours of sleep for the night.

Some of you will think me off my rocker. Some will shake their heads and say, "Yup. Sounds like Jim." Perhaps my new friend will read this eventually. Who knows what might come of that? Am I in love? Hey, don't rush me. We haven't been face-to-face, yet, for Pete's sake. Check back, though. I want to know the answer to that, too.

Sorry, Buckeye Chuck. Spring is here.

I think the idea that a groundhog can predict the changing season is fun. These poor animals are roused from their slumber just so we can see whether they see their shadow. Don't we know that before they pop up? If those of us standing around watching have a shadow, then Punxsutawney Phil will, too. So we could leave the little beast to sleep the winter away, but it's so much fun! All that aside, Albuquerque is going to have a very spring-like day today. Our winter has not been particularly cold or snowy, but I am looking forward to the lower 70's and upper 60's for the rest of the week. Spring has added meaning for me this year. The ending of a dark period and the beginning of something new. Like life, there may be a few cold days waiting in the wings, but spring is springing and I'm glad to see it.

A Little Cologne Goes a Long Way

I have only worn cologne a few times in the last year. Just didn't feel like it, I suppose. Last weekend I got it in my head that I wanted to use some bayrum cologne that I've had for the last 10 years. I couldn't find it. Boo. So I went online to find some. I received my new supply yesterday. My kids don't like it, but I do. It's a comfortable smell. It makes me feel better. Alanna liked my old bayrum cologne. Being only a week from Valentine's Day and just over a month from the anniversary of her death, I wearing something she liked. It used to bug her that I'd cut my hair short, even though she had fun playing with it. Last night I cut it real short. I'm feeling a bit melancholy but in a good place all the same. A little cologne goes a long way.

Bible study differences

Being the person I am, it makes sense that I am a part of 4 or more distinct groups that study the Bible during a week. The fun part for me is that each of the groups does this differently. I just got off-line with my parents and brothers. We meet every two weeks to discuss the Bible as we read it together all the way through for the next year and three months. We are responsible for coming to the meeting with the material read, like a college class, and then we do an open discussion. There is no theme verse or particular direction set ahead of time.

Another group I meet with examines the text for clues to the essential pieces for worshiping God. Still another focuses on where God is leading us in our individual and group lives. Some have set leaders, some do not. Each is valid and productive. Such variety is helpful to me in deeper discernment of the meaning of the text.

I am grateful to all the people who take the time to prepare and meet with me. Interpretation in a vacuum is a dangerous thing. One person's opinion outside a communal examination can lead to some pretty interesting (and wild) conclusions. I believe, as many do, that scripture is meant for the community and is most accurately interpreted in community with others. There is plenty of benefit to the individual reader, too, but we ought to be guided by a larger understanding than just our own.

Do you read the Bible? Have you ever studied it with a group? I do both and recommend both, not because I am anything special, but because I believe it helps us all to see possibilities that we would otherwise miss in life.

Fulfillment (or the lack thereof)

I don't think the world needs everyone to be ambitious and "successful" the way Western society often defines the word. I think we all need to be working at being fulfilled in our jobs, our families, and our social lives. It might be easy to assume that I would expect that fulfillment only comes with a religious component. I suppose that may be true, but the faith or religious facet of life can be far different than United Methodist Christianity, the faith in which I have grown up. We need to know that there is something beyond ourselves. An atheist may identify that as culture or community or something else. A Christian, Jew or Muslim will most likely identify it as God and the community of their faith. Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus, and the many other people with expressions of faith will know what it is for them.

As for me, I am fulfilled when I feel I am following a path towards God. That includes my work and/or chosen vocation, my family life and the time I spend with friends and acquaintances. Interesting that tonight a very similar subject came up as I talked with a couple of students I am mentoring. The students (unprovoked by me) described their walk with God as being in all the things they do in life, including school and sports. That is real faith, when it applies to everything we do, not just the convenient things. That is fulfilling, too. When everything works together. At least it is for me.

I ran across this picture that I was sent by Louie back in March. Honestly, I haven't looked at the group of photos much. I didn't want to think about it. Memory lane ain't what it used to be for me. You may feel the same way at times, I don't know. This picture was taken in an office, in a building that doesn't exist any more. It was demolished in 2008, right along with my dear wife. Sorta fitting when I think about it. I remember the outfit she's wearing. She loved sweaters over collared shirts in college. Her hair was so much longer then. Funny, we both liked each other with longer hair, but neither of us could stand to keep it longer for any amount of time. It makes me laugh to think about it. I see her and remember the power that I felt coming from her. She would never believe me, but I was always stunned to think that she would choose me. She thought I had "settled" for her. I thought she had sold herself short for me. That's a LOL, my friends. It has taken all this time for me to see that we deserved each other; at our best AND and our worst. Perhaps no one would have put up with either of us the way we did in the bad times. I have a hard time imagining that anyone could have loved either of us as much as we did through it all. Here's to you, my Alanna Rose. As you wish.

I am weak

As the anniversary of Alanna's death comes closer, I have found myself missing her more and more. I have caught myself wishing to have her back even if she was still sick. That is a thought for a very weak moment. I am sad that it takes me a second to catch what I am wishing. There is no way I would drag her back here from God to be sick all over again. I would wish for her to be back healthy, but my brain dismisses that out of hand as impossible. Hey, if she can come back, she can come back healthy. Either way it's a selfish thought on my part. I am grateful, in a way, that I still miss her so much. I just wish it could be a little less.

A Quote to Challenge Us All

This quote is taken from Patrin 5.2 of the Psalters. It speaks volumes about the things we choose and choose not to face with Christ. Thanks to the Psalters for being open and real about their faith. May we all face the challenge to live closer to God this next year.

"The road has felt closer to home in that there is none. No roofs and fences to put my evils under or behind; less physical spaces and places to ease my weary head of its fears. I am held out more in the open where my First Love is all to turn to. I have had to rely on Him in situations I preferred not to. As a result He is present to my senses more. It has been fascinating to see how He provides for what I had so often provided for myself." - captain napkinz from the Psalters

It gets me right...here.

Last night was special and bittersweet. Anni had her winter choir concert. It was in a big, beautiful church with lots of wood. The choirs (6th grade, 7th-8th, Senior high, and Les Chanteuses) were all really good. I was blessed to have some really good friends there with me in the audience. The closing number was called "Peace, Peace" and featured the audience, some 300 strong, singing the first verse of "Silent Night" in time with the other song. It moved me to tears.

I remember Alanna being at last year's concert. I remember how much pain she was in before she had the operations on her vertebrae right before Christmas. Last night she wasn't sitting next to me. She was, however, very present in my heart.

The kids and I made it through Thanksgiving without much gloom or fuss. I think Christmas will be a far different experience, at least for me.